I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I have post one night stand depression
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