If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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