My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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