yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
