yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
