Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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