I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
