She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
