But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
