ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
