Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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