I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
