Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
you never un-have a 4some
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
