I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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