32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
