Screwed.edu
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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