I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Randomize
