You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
