is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize