Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize