My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
