Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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