The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
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