Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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