hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize