I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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