In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize