Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
