Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
