Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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