Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
