i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
