what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Acid is not a monday night drug
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
