Apparently you make a good broom.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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