You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
