and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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