I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
