before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
