physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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