pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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