All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
