I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
