How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
