i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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