I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
