he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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