Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
