Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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