So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
