i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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