I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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