Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
