My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
