After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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