ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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