worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
