then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
