names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize