i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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