i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
