It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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