yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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