Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
